Written when i served a real-time Master who kept keys

i am delighted with my chastity experiment. only once in the sixth months since i began to explore the territory did i succumb while the device was off. the orgasm was by no means as good as i've had at the hand of my Master and the ejaculate was pathetic. there was no erotic excitement that i had when Master worked my body to a frenzy, and gave me the gift of orgasm, there was no pleasure in the aftermath; it was a deed done badly and i felt i had betrayed myself. i decided then that under no circumstances would i ever again permit that to happen.

my ability to enjoy orgasm and ejaculate a copious amount of semen is now in the control of my Master. by giving over to him entire control over my sexual function, i am released from responsibility for it, it becomes the object of his pleasure or whim: to deny my orgasm, to grant it. it does enable me to concentrate on what he wants of me and this is is a potent aphrodisiac.

now that i begin to reeconcile this, i gain pleasure from my erections as simple manifestations of my new sexuality, but without that urge to bring about the climax, i can sustain the pleasure almost indefinitely. i feel it in my balls, my arse and frequently the whole pelvic region itself is stimulated.

i am in a near constant state of priapism. it is like i am having sex with myself all the time but without the finality that the act of ejaculation actually brings. for me there is no end, no loss of libido, or appetite.

i feel so physically male and charged with sexuality as i go about my business.

mentally i feel more focused and alert. i can't help but think that this ought to be the normal way for all submissive males to be kept - why not all males for some part of their lives!

i don't know why exactly, but in giving over my sexuality, i am fnding that although i am constantly sexually alert, the desire for orgasm is diminishing. i am learning to live with the fact that i cannot achieve ejaculation and so find i do not wish for it.

what i do want is this continuous sexual high, the arousal that makes me feel such a male animal. i am better able to focus on the development of my slave mentality through the enforced chastity.

my genitalia no longer rule me absolutely, they are controlled by my Master and so i am controlled by him.

i can concentrate on my Master's needs and in pleasuring his body, undistracted by my genital urges. safely locked away, my cock and balls present no interference to serving my Master.

if my Master chooses to release my genitals for his pleasure, i am naturally ecstatic, but it is the feel of my Master's hands on my body as he enjoys the torments he inflicts on me, that gives me greatest pleasure now that i no longer have access to my genitals.

Master tortures my balls with stretchers and heavy weights, or rolls the testicles around in his fingers hard. it is agony and ecstasy all in one. Master punishes my balls in this way because he knows his slave is responding to the pain and pleasure from deep inside his slave psyche; this is the need to submit and be totally at the mercy of my Master, accepting everything he wants to do, however hard or painful it may be.

sometimes, Master has worked my aching cock slowly, bringing his slave almost to the point of orgasm, then stopped. he sometimes then beats the throbbing slave member till the erection subsides. then the belt is replaced.

i am always so drained by this, but the sensations are continuous, having had such stimulation without ejaculation. there is usually a lot of pre-cum and, if i am wearing a butt plug, the stimulation of the prostate enables limited expression of fluid. this is quite pleasant and healthy. it is the only release of fluid that i can achieve now and over which i have no control. the fluids flow freely and it makes me feel even more the male, animal and slave that i am becoming.